He’s SO mysterious!
I had very high hopes when I first discovered these so-called ‘Amazing Invisibility Mints’.
Finally, I was going to be able to become actually, truly invisible (!), instead of just the socially invisible thing that happens to me at parties and at bars and in meetings and when I’m talking to people while they’re thinking about more important things.
Not only that, but according to the depiction on the tin, by sucking on one of these mints people will also suddenly get that when I dress in a trenchcoat and lurk in their backyards it’s because I’m being mysterious, and not because I’m some sort of strange weirdo. In all honesty, I’m getting tired of having to explain this to the police, and it’s harder than you might imagine to fight crime and injustice with dozens of restraining orders in place…
Unfortunately, it turns out these Amazing Invisibility Mints are just plain mints, and I’m going to have to continue to rely on my ability to blend into the foreground as I skulk about my neighbourhood looking for nefarious activities to foil.
For example, I’m fairly certain the people at number 24 have installed a shed without council permission, and now it is time for them to pay the price for their evildoings! Aha ahahahahahaha ahaha!