And this is why they yell ‘aiyeee!’

Dear Internet,

I had my first Tai Chi / Kung Fu class today. This is part of my “2013, The Murray Has Landed!” project, which is why I spent this morning wishing I was still in bed, instead of being in a Ukrainian Community Hall performing a move that I think was called “Fondling The Pony In Slow Motion”, while my thigh muscles screamed about the retribution they would be inflicting on me tomorrow.

No, wait… the move is actually called “Parting The Wild Horse’s Mane”. I looked it up. Fondling The Pony In Slow Motion is probably a move that will only get you arrested…

I have found what looks to be a great school with a great teacher. As someone with Lupus, I have some extra challenges to work against, and over the last few weeks I have called schools and talked to the teachers and I finally found someone who seemed genuinely interested in working with me.

My impression was reinforced this morning, when the teacher (or “Sifu”, in Kung Fu terminology), asked me to explain Lupus to the other students, and we talked a bit about the pain and fatigue and the fogging out. If nothing else, it was an awesome opportunity for advocacy!

And then began the glorious pain!

I have to remind myself that I am in my forties, with zero conditioning and all sorts of interesting health problems. It’s bound to be difficult, right? Say it with me: “Murray, it’s gonna be difficult. Murray, it’s gonna make you ache. Murray, a very pleasant 18-year-old kid is gonna do a move on you where it felt like he materialized out of thin air, pulled out your liver and then pounded you repeatedly across the face with it wrapped around his fist. And then that same kid is gonna apologize afterwards and ask if the fact that you’ve gone purple in the face means anything alarming.”

I know that tomorrow I will be painfully aware of parts of me that I have forgotten that I have. I will probably post a message that just says, “Kill. Me. Now.” I will desperately want someone to do the move called “Fondling The Aching Thighs”.

For now, however, I’m pleased to be doing something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Yes, that’s right, Internet: it’s 2013, and the Murray has landed! Aiyeee!

Murray @ Midnight


9 thoughts on “And this is why they yell ‘aiyeee!’

  1. Congrats Murray! I know it sucks beyond all that is good when our best-laid plans also include pain in order to make them happen. But, think about the huge step you’ve just taken for yourself and towards your secret plan to kick Lupus’ ass! (Oops! Were we not supposed to say that out loud?)

    • Thank you LetSdeG (at some point I will ask you what your first name is – expect it when you least expect it), I do feel very positive about doing something proactive, and I honestly don’t mind if there’s pain involved; we are old acquaintances, if never friends.

      Of course, tomorrow I will be begging for mercy. πŸ˜‰


      • My name is Leticia. But I let forty-something, martial arts practicing, lupus-fighting, freshly haircut Australians call me Lety. πŸ˜‰

        Pain just means you are alive and feel something. It also means you’ve awakened those muscles! So embrace it. It will pass and you will feel great soon.

        • As luck would have it, I *am* a forty-something, martial arts practicing, lupus-fighting, freshly haircutted Australian! And therefore I shall call you Lety. πŸ™‚

          I am feeling so alive today! Particularly my thighs. My thighs feel *excessively* alive!! πŸ™‚


  2. Well isn’t that convenient? And, please do!

    I am glad you are feeling alive today. Hopefully the feeling will continue tomorrow. For all of its ups and downs, life is wonderful. You just have to wear the right glasses at all times!

    • Thankfully, my thighs, and various other parts of my body, have settled down to a manageable level of feeling alive, and therefore I can appreciate that I am living but still make it to the kitchen to get myself some coffee. πŸ™‚

      I need to borrow your glasses for a day.


      • You may borrow whenever you wish! Just be sure to return them when I have to go see people that make me want to stab my eyes out with needles! πŸ™‚ (I will have one such meeting this week, therefore return them by Thursday.)

        • Oh, I definitely promise to have your glasses back to you before Thursday. I will also give to you the Paperweight Of Threatening Annoying Coworkers. Just show it to them and say, “Remember what happened to Karl?” and usually that does the trick.


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