…of having experimented with Dark Fondue Magic back in college. The kind of Fondue Magic that involved unholy things like goats cheese, and offerings of virgin olive oil. The kind of Fondue Magic that could haunt a man, or maybe just keep him uncomfortably constipated the next day…
…a two book a week habit.
…Bernie Smathers was looking forward to the day when he got to read the other book.
As far as Stormtroopers went, Bernie was more interested in a different type of storm…
Bernie’s attempt to renegotiate the peace accord hinged on an offer of two chocolate cupcakes and a pretty ribbon.
Captain Snuffles lived for 3 years as the Smathers’ family’s pet lobster before the unfortunate truth was discovered.
Bernie’s fatal error had been in taking too long to set up his tripod.
Bernie Smathers had been waiting for a sign, however on some level he had also been hoping it would be a little more informative.
First, Bernie Smathers ravished the furniture. Then another idea occurred to him…
“So I said, “Give me three dollars and fifty-eight cents and I’ll show you how many ways a hamster can meet with an ‘accident’.””